Single? ICYMI, Some People Play Cupid for a Living

Single? ICYMI, Some People Play Cupid for a Living

By Phoebe Knight

It’s 2017, and we’re reporting on the technological advancements of the matchmaking industry. That is a real thing that we’re doing.

But making a business out of making dates, especially in the age of Tinder? That requires some serious chops.

Single Atlanta founder Leisha Murphy, who has more than 25 years of experience in the matchmaking industry, witnessed the dating world’s technical revolution firsthand.

“Online dating exploded people’s ability to take control of dating,” she says. “Our society trains us to wait for love, but we don’t have to wait anymore.”

Although Single Atlanta has an extensive database, she believes in applying a human touch over algorithms. She encourages would-be daters to skip the digital and get personal. “Don’t text to ask for a date. Pick up the phone and make a call.”

Once on the date, drop your expectations so you can see people for who they are, not what boxes they tick. “Don’t interview each other on date one,” she says. “You don’t have to solve all the problems and check their resume to see if they’re the exact right person. Instead do what dating is supposed to be about: getting to know one another and enjoying each other’s company.”

Murphy also suggests avoiding giving up too soon if the first date isn’t perfect. “If it was more good than bad, go again. People unfold. Dating is a journey and you can’t figure it all out in one date.”

In today’s digital world, the team at One on One Matchmaking uses a custom-built database to bring their clients together. Although they embrace technology, company president Jennifer Barnes Miotke tells us there is danger in focusing on too many granular options.

According to Miotke, another common dating pitfall is focusing on trivial details instead of exploring compatibility. This can put roadblocks in a potentially great relationship before it even has a chance to start. “Don’t make things harder than they need to be,” she says.

When you’re on a date, it’s easy to let nervousness turn into awkwardness, making it difficult to connect to the other person. Miotke tells her clients it’s ok to relax. “The first phase of a relationship is to see if you can truly have fun with the person.”

Technology, as we know, can’t always answer that question. So what can?

Susan Trombetti, founder and CEO of Exclusive Matchmaking, isn’t an Atlanta native, but serves clients in the city. She believes that physical attributes aren’t as important to making a meaningful connection as more personal traits. When finding the right match for a client, she wants to know their stance on religion, children and what they’re looking for in a relationship. That, according to Trombetti, is what really matters.

In her opinion, dating’s tech revolution has created a false narrative of an endless supply of potential partners. The online dating world is often disingenuous, so an abundance of matches doesn’t necessarily correlate to quality relationships.

“Look at the person in front of you instead of looking to see who’s next,” Trombetti says.

This doesn’t mean that you should stay in a bad relationship, though. It isn’t worthwhile to stay in a relationship where you’re unhappy or you want different things. Sometimes the best thing you can do for yourself is to move on. “If you kick the wrong one to the curb,” she says, “then you’ll find love.”

Trombetti urges caution when it comes to texting, especially early in the relationship. “People tend to be too familiar over text and say intimate things, and then in person won’t even kiss on the lips because there isn’t that familiarity in the relationship yet.”

Her advice for meeting the right person is to put yourself in the right situation. “Go to a resort, attend a charity ball, volunteer. Just out off your couch.”

With a slew of technological advances and habits, the dating and matchmaking industries—already prime examples of entrepreneurial innovation, as evidenced by Murphy, Miotke and Trombetti—have changed as well. Our guess is that they’ll only continue to do so.

Happy Valentine’s Day, Atlanta. May the swipes be ever in your favor.

Lead image via Pexels